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I first married at the age of 18 and had two
wonderful children before I turned 22. My first
husband is a very nice person; in fact we are still
friends today. Coming from a broken home myself I
was looking for a partnership where I was the center
of his world. That is hard to give when you’re only 21-
years-old and trying to establish yourself in a career.
Our marriage only lasted five years, but we parted as
friends and I continued looking for someone to make
me feel special. My next meaningful relationship
started six years after my divorce. We married after a
tumultuous two-year love affair but the marriage only
lasted three months. I’m sure my needy nature also
drove away my second husband. After that I almost
gave up on finding someone who could give me what I
thought I needed and I was ready to give anything to
get that. But I never found anyone who wanted all
that I was ready to give, until I met Frank.
For my whole life all I ever wanted was to be loved
exclusively by one man. When I met Frank he gave me
all that and more. He was my “Cameron Mitchell” and
I was hooked. Well, needless to say, things changed. I
moved in with Frank about six months after our first
date and the requirements he put on me and our
relationship turned into overwhelming obstacles.
Frank’s mantra was, “It’s you and me against the world,
Kid.” I didn’t realize for quite some time just how
literally he meant that statement. I always knew,
because of my genuine love for Frank, he would soon
realize he was safe with me and everything would be
wonderful …and he would change.
When we first started dating he confided to me
that he liked to drink and tended to drink quite a bit.
At the time I was pleased that he was being so honest
with me. I didn’t want to admit that he had a drinking
problem and along with the requirement for me to be
his and his alone, I was expected to accept Frank’s
excessive drinking as “normal.” I never imagined that
his drinking would become the center of our lives and
eventually, everything we did revolved around his
ready access to Chardonnay. I knew he was too
intelligent to continue on with this life-threatening
habit, but after 10 years I finally realized he was not
going to change either his possessiveness or his
Introduction
I have always loved the movies, especially those
wonderful Technicolor films of the 1950’s. In 1953, I
saw a most glamorous and exciting film called, “How
to Marry a Millionaire.” It starred Betty Grable,
Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall. It was a great
post World War II romantic comedy—a box office
smash hit that aided in our country’s search for
happiness and ease. I remember getting lost in
movies and in “How to Marry a Millionaire,” I wanted
to be Lauren Bacall. She was poised, sophisticated,
and a brunette like me—and Cameron Mitchell was
absolutely “mad” over her. He pursued her like
every woman wants to be pursued. My life’s fantasy
was to be the object of such devotion and affection
and to live happily ever after, just like they did on
the big screen. Marrying a millionaire was never part
of the fantasy, it just happened that way. And while
it was not my goal to divorce one either, that too
just happened.
Every divorce begins with a “marriage made in
heaven.” Once that marriage falls apart, you enter a
time in your life that has been rated by the experts
as one of the top 10 most stressful situations a
person can experience. The 1950’s romantic
comedies usually end with “…and they lived happily
ever after.” The reality is, that doesn’t always
happen. Like Lauren Bacall’s character in the movie
and for the majority of my life, I have been referred
to by friends, associates and family as “one tough
lady.” I have always been perceived as a strong
survivor who would face and overcome any obstacle
that blocked my way. I doubted these labels and
descriptions to be truths. A strong tough lady would
also have a loving man with her and I never felt that I
was loved by any man. I never had a relationship
with my father and most of the intimate relationships
I had in my life were either unrequited or me
accepting what was available so I would not be
alone. In 1988, I met a man and little did I know how
my life with him would change me. As a result of our
10 year relationship I let go of the desperation to
feel loved and wanted. After a handful of failed
relationships he was the answer to all my prayers…or
so I thought.
I have always loved the movies, especially those
wonderful Technicolor films of the 1950’s. In 1953, I
saw a most glamorous and exciting film called, “How
to Marry a Millionaire.” It starred Betty Grable,
Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall. It was a great
post World War II romantic comedy—a box office
smash hit that aided in our country’s search for
happiness and ease. I remember getting lost in
movies and in “How to Marry a Millionaire,” I wanted
to be Lauren Bacall. She was poised, sophisticated,
and a brunette like me—and Cameron Mitchell was
absolutely “mad” over her. He pursued her like
every woman wants to be pursued. My life’s fantasy
was to be the object of such devotion and affection
and to live happily ever after, just like they did on
the big screen. Marrying a millionaire was never part
of the fantasy, it just happened that way. And while
it was not my goal to divorce one either, that too
just happened.
Every divorce begins with a “marriage made in
heaven.” Once that marriage falls apart, you enter a
time in your life that has been rated by the experts
as one of the top 10 most stressful situations a
person can experience. The 1950’s romantic
comedies usually end with “…and they lived happily
ever after.” The reality is, that doesn’t always
happen. Like Lauren Bacall’s character in the movie
and for the majority of my life, I have been referred
to by friends, associates and family as “one tough
lady.” I have always been perceived as a strong
survivor who would face and overcome any obstacle
that blocked my way. I doubted these labels and
descriptions to be truths. A strong tough lady would
also have a loving man with her and I never felt that I
was loved by any man. I never had a relationship
with my father and most of the intimate relationships
I had in my life were either unrequited or me
accepting what was available so I would not be
alone. In 1988, I met a man and little did I know how
my life with him would change me. As a result of our
10 year relationship I let go of the desperation to
feel loved and wanted. After a handful of failed
relationships he was the answer to all my prayers…or
so I thought.
